Ask Charlie

Thanks to the reader who submitted this question:

"What do you think about ghosting/forgetting your friends when you get into a new relationship?"

When a person enters into a romantic relationship, it often becomes the most exciting thing happening in their life at that moment. They can easily become engulfed in their own happiness and forget about everything else. Members of new relationships also have a tendency to drop all their hobbies and spend all their time with their new significant other. In those first stages, a relationship may be all the person ever thinks about.

As someone who has both ghosted and been ghosted, I can see this situation from both angles. While it's vital in the first stages of romance to spend time getting to know each other, it's equally important to keep your friends in mind.

For friends watching a budding relationship from the outside, it's crucial to have patience and understand where your friend is coming from. Try to talk to your friend about how you want to spend more time together, but don't be surprised when your friend wants to invite their partner to hangouts. If you are a true friend to this person, you'll be happy to get to know their significant other.

If you are the person doing the ghosting, know that your new relationship is important, but remember who was there for you first. Don't abandon the people in your life because someone else came along. There is an unlimited amount of space in your world for people who care about you.

Relationships come and go, but friendships usually last as long as everyone involved is putting in the same effort. Prioritize the people who are a big part of your life and keep them on that level, no matter who else comes along. There's no single correct way to handle this situation, but being understanding toward your friends' feelings is absolutely crucial.