Ask Charlie

Thanks to the reader who asked this question. This is something I've personally always struggled with, and the fact of the matter is that there is not one answer.

For some reason, it has become easier for people to lie about their feelings or wants, instead of simply telling the truth.

My viewpoint on it is that lying is only a temporary solution. At some point in time, you will have to tell the other person the truth. This means that eventually, they will know how you feel regardless. Why not save time and just tell them straight up?

I think people avoid telling the truth in certain situations for numerous reasons.

They could be ashamed of what they think or how they feel. They could feel uncomfortable voicing their feelings for a multitude of different reasons. Others may mask their secrecy by saying that they care for you and didn't want to hurt your feelings.

We have become so sensitive as a society that other people feel the need to lie to each other's faces just to avoid offending someone.

Shouldn't we consider being lied to more offensive than whatever that person has to say?

Let's be honest — pun intended. If someone truly cares about you and your feelings, they won't hide anything in the first place. Our society has been transformed into thinking that lying to someone is a form of protecting them. It isn't.

Unfortunately, not everyone sees that way, and lies become a method of protecting not only the person on the receiving end but the person telling the lie. In fact, it protects the liar more than the person being lied to.

If you care about protecting someone, you should also care about being honest with them, no matter the case.

At the end of the day, being straightforward with someone instead of trying to sugar-coat something in order to cater to someone's feelings is much more beneficial for both parties involved. There is no confusion. No awkward revealing of the truth. No distrust or overthinking.

The short answer is: people lie to make themselves feel comfortable in an overly sensitive society. No one wants to tell the uncomfortable truths, and telling someone how you feel is often uncomfortable.

People need to get comfortable speaking the uncomfortable, and eventually talking about your feelings won't be so taboo.