Ask Charlie

Thanks to the reader who asked this question: "So I’m dating this guy, we’ve been together for over a year now. He’s great really great. I love him but as we get older I’m questioning the validity of our relationship.

Our futures seem they may not match. I love him I know I do, but I feel like our relationship is going “stale”. He never wants to try new things or go out which are things that I love to do — I don’t know what to do. I love him very much and I’ve told him so many times that these things bother me but nothing has changed."

There’s a few points that need to be addressed.

First, do not feel bad for feeling this way. It happens to all relationships, intimate or not. I’ve learned that once you get through the valley, the mountain you stand on after is worth the climb. Relationships are about work. Not necessarily compromise, but work.

With that said, the people involved should be willing to listen and at least try to understand where their partners are coming from. Having conversations about the different issues within the relationship and trying to find a solution. I would have a real conversation and state anything and everything on your mind — positives and negatives.

In this conversation it should be said that this is the way you feel and both of you need to respect that. Feelings are not wrong or right and shouldn’t be put down because they are irrational or inaccurate.

A partner that is willing to progress a relationship would hear you out and do almost anything to make sure you feel secure.

If you truly feel you have done all you can to make a relationship work and things are still not where you want them to be, it might be time to reevaluate what each of you want at this time in your lives.

It shouldn’t feel exhausting, so taking time a part from each other could be the next step in mending the relationship or doing what is best for you.