Ask Charlie

Thanks to the reader who submitted this question:

"Charlie, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years and are still in college. How early is too early to get married? I think we would get married sooner if it weren't for the inherent pressure and judgement placed upon young couples. What do you think?"

My mom was married at 22 and then had me at 26. At the time I was born, she already had a secure job. It was a time in which the job market was good. My mother also came from a culture where family values were set in stone. My parents had a lot of time to spend with me, to prioritize their love for each other and to focus on their respective careers.

Getting married comes with many responsibilities. These responsibilities must be honored, promises must be kept and time must be spent very wisely. Today, it can be difficult to earn enough money to sustain a family and pay the bills. If the simple act of betrothal takes priority in your mind over its associated responsibilities, then you might find yourself in a bit of a negative situation.

Prioritizing work, finances and your personal well-being before entering into an official and committed relationship could help you later on in married life. Having a stable financial status, a home and plenty of money can actually make married life more exciting.

Marriage is an act that needs to be thought through many times before you and your partner commit each other’s lives to one another for eternity. It's hard to maintain relationships, especially in college when people undergo many emotional, physical and spiritual changes. If you marry a person because you think they are the right one for you, you might end up stuck with someone who doesn’t fit your lifestyle or meet your emotional needs.

Being in a relationship with someone who isn't right for you can certainly be unhealthy. It can even lead to depression and feelings of hopelessness. You may, at that point, begin to consider divorce, which can have serious negative effects on many aspects of life.

At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter whether you marry early or later on in life. Either way, marriage takes careful planning, consideration and many long talks with your partner. Whatever you decide, we at The Lumberjack wish you well in all your romantic pursuits.