Pillow Talk

There are 7.7 billion people on this planet. To think that every one of those people needs and desires the same thing from a romantic relationship is absolutely absurd.

Possibly one of the biggest mistakes people make in a relationship is loving their partner in their own way they want to be loved.

It seems simple, but loving another person is so far from that.

Everyone has a slightly different love language. We all like to be loved in a certain way that benefits our mind, body and soul. But the way I like to be loved is probably not the way you like to be loved, and probably not the way your partner likes to be loved.

Love languages determine what forms of love impact you the most, and essentially make you feel the best. The most common love languages include words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and gifts. Each person unknowingly places a few of these at the top of their list, the things that make them feel the most loved.

If you try to — or even subconsciously — love someone else the way you want to be loved, it’s likely that you won’t get the response you’re looking for.

Words of affirmation are not high up on my list of love languages. Usually, if I am feeling in need of reassurance, I will ask for it. If not, words of affirmation just don’t demonstrate love to me. I have always been a believer in “actions speak louder than words,” so words of affirmation sometimes come off as all talk.

However, I am very aware that words of affirmation are a love language for other people. Some people need these words of reassurance to feel loved, and just because that’s not my love language doesn’t mean I should neglect theirs.

It’s up to you to find out what love languages really speak to your partner and how you can utilize them. If your partner’s love language is physical touch, make the effort to cater to that. If their love language is acts of service, do small acts for them every once in a while.

Love languages should control the way you show love to your partner. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone if they can’t see it — or if you can’t communicate it.

People feel loved in different ways at different stages of their life with different people. Love is far too complex to think of it as one simple feeling.

Love takes effort, and part of that effort is learning your partner’s love language and putting it to use.