Living with other people is tough. Roommates are an unpredictable force that inhabit the same space where you eat, sleep, breathe and try to build a home. A roommate could be anyone, from a stranger on a Facebook forum to a life-long best friend.
Imagine living with the person who once was your world, your lover, partner and best friend all wrapped up into one human. Now, imagine they’re your ex-world, ex-lover, ex-partner and ex-best friend.
Living with my ex-girlfriend adds a whole new dimension to the complex arena of roommate problems.
I still have to navigate the usual obstacles of who does the dishes and takes out the trash. But on top of that, I’m faced with the everyday struggle of coming home and seeing the person I used to share a life with, who now travels a separate path from me.
The rent gets paid. The hallway gets vacuumed. But my heart gets messed up.
The first time I walked in on her with a new girl in our apartment, I wanted to fly to New York and never come home again. But life isn’t a movie — this is college, and I have a lease.
Interrupting intimate moments between your ex and someone else isn’t even the worst part.
Without a doubt, the worst part is facing the feelings that accompany a breakup while being in painfully close and constant contact with your ex-lover and current roommate.
As the cliche goes, time and space heals everything, but there is no such thing as time and space when you’re living with the other half of your heartbreak.
It’s not healthy — not for me, you, her or anyone in this world. But it is the situation I’m stuck in, and one that is undoubtedly faced by other people.
To cope and manage the unfortunate scenario that is my reality, the first step is to establish boundaries. I say should, because it is easier said than done.
Until I brought up the extremely awkward elephant in the room, we were stumbling through a fresh breakup as roommates with zero boundaries. It was a confusing continuation of what we had before.
Do not take a page out of my book. After breaking up and while still living with your ex, do not keep cuddling, holding hands or doing anything that people in relationships do.
This is damaging and derails the moving-on process. On the list of things you shouldn’t do with your ex, living with them is No. 1.